• Rajah E. Smart, Ed.D.

Not Giving a Care by Ann Walsh

Americans are ingrained through various societal norms and mores to CARE. We are bombarded with messages from infancy to care about others, care about animals, care about the environment. Perhaps we’ve all reached caring overload. Perhaps all the caring expectations reach critical mass for individuals believing themselves isolated from all the supposed caring circles. And they stop caring.


Infants are selfish. There is no judgment in that statement; merely a statement of truth. To survive, infants must be selfish for basic needs to be met by others as they are incapable of meeting their own needs. Decades have passed since Abraham Maslow developed his theories of self-actualization and hierarchy of needs. Physiological needs are what infants care about. ‘Happiness’ for them is a full tummy, dry diaper, warmth and comfort. I’d say we pretty much come full circle by the end of our lives, if we live until a doddering old age requiring nursing home care. The aged and infirm often become selfish in that their primary basic needs become an overarching focus of daily existence. Those charged with taking care of them learn to deflect, coddle, and ignore words and actions previously deemed unacceptable for much younger individuals.


So, we start out in life caring only about ourselves and often end up that way in old age. Then the whole caring about *whatever* aspect is for the in between years. Caring benefits society more so than the individual. Caring is what causes parents to provide for young children. It can be the foundation of any community. However, there are many benefits to not caring, and to being selfish. Those uncaring, selfish ones are the people who rise to power. They are the ultra-wealthy. No one truly reaches the heights of wealth and power by caring about others more than themselves. There is a freedom that comes from little or no regard for others. One can be solely focused on one’s wants, needs, goals, and passions with only concern about outcomes for oneself. No sense of obligation or responsibility provides liberation to pursue anything one desires.


For those not rich and powerful, embracing an uncaring perspective can still have benefits. It can make work life more tolerable. Not caring what co-workers and managers think liberates oneself of any need or desire to please them. It can eliminate pressure to socialize and exchange inane banter about each other’s personal lives. Letting go of work concerns allows the “trade time for pay” exchange to be much more palatable and tolerable. Not caring eliminates worries. Worry about others’ health crises, either existing or potential, dissipates when not caring takes hold. Many embrace a certain uncaring attitude through natural aging process. Some after a culmination of years, decades even, of physically and emotionally caring for too many and too much. The critical mass hits and the stores of caring are depleted. Once uncaring is embraced, a bit of numbness may be experienced. However, that numbness just may be the first tingling of bliss. The blissfulness of being oblivious to everything but one’s own wants and needs. Disappointment in others and their actions becomes nonexistent when caring is left out of the equation. Those with heavy emotional investment cling to caring as if with a security blanket. The investment brings dividends in forms of disappointment, worry, anxiety, and stress. One may posit the dividends are also love and joy. As with most investments, one must decide which dividends carry the greatest returns. If it the former, one should consider divestment and strategize for more attention to selfishness. Reducing emotionalism and applying logic brings new psychic insights for one’s desires. Refocusing energies to fulfill those desires can bring forth previously unrealized life satisfaction. #nocares #life #happiness


Not caring is not a bad thing. It can be a good thing. Agree or disagree with those words. Quite frankly, whether agree or not, I don’t care.

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