• Jacquese Smart

You Can’t Be the Killer and the Victim at the Same Time

As I get older, I am understanding the difference between things that are finite and those that are infinite. Let me explain…finite refers to the opinions we have that are definable and sometimes restricted, but may change based on living. At one point we have all said, “I’m not kickin' it with a woman or man who has….” Those finite boundaries are set over time.

Those ideas change because we became the person we were talking about. The infinite deals with our morals, values, and principles that define how we see the world.


Believe it or not, everyone has a set of distinguishable morals, values, and principles. What separates people are their boundaries or the lack thereof. There are two types of people: the killer and the victim.


The killer can be viewed through two lenses.


Killer 1: Appropriately will take responsibility for their actions, won’t complain, seek attention, or care about some bullshit.


Killer 2: Stay on some straight bullshit and seek to hide their deeds. As my grandad would say, "they hide their hand." The victim, for balance purposes, can be perceived the same way.


Victim 1: Is on the receiving end of the actions of killer 2. This victim plays the role of duped, tricked, or injured legitimately.


Victim 2: Shots fired from their gun, but points at the real victim and screams, "they did it, not me." This person can never accept accountability for their actions due to it NEVER being their fault. The true victim is at fault because they didn't dodge the bullet or they didn't accept mediocrity. Killer/Victim 2 was the aggressor or made a decision that was detrimental to the relationship but it's victim 1's fault. Can you see how that foolishness works?


It's impossible to be the killer and the victim at the same time. You’ve got to pick one. A perfect example: Your spouse, partner, friend, etc., have done something that they had no business doing based on the social-personal contract developed. You fortunately or unfortunately find out about said business, and they start to bring up something that doesn’t have shit to do with the price of tea in China! You decide to end things – and they try to ruin your life! They spread gossip all over social media, as was discussed in the previous blog, and try to make you the killer. Now, remember, they drew first blood, but their deed is your fault. Thus, you can't be the killer and the victim simultaneously.


In order to be successful in life, it’s important to have boundaries! Without those boundaries which are infinite, the finite is pointless! In my Zora Neale Hurston tone, If you gone be a killer, do killer things. If you gone be a victim, the same rules apply. But PLEASE don’t be a killer then walk around talking about how somebody did you wrong.


2 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All